Thinking about becoming a stand-up comic, do you think this is funny?

-I am a 16 year girl who is thinking about future prospects. My friends have always told me that I should be a comedian and recently I've started to think about it seriously. Below is an example of things I might say, although be warned as it is only a first draft and I just wrote it out for the first time on here, so I already know that it needs work.



There is one thing above all that annoys me about people in general. It is martyrdom. You know, when you're just sitting around doing nothing and someone like your mum comes up to you and they're like 'Ooh, could you just do this for me?' and you''re saying 'well as you can see i'm really busy at the moment so i'll see if i can do it in a bit' and then they go off in a huff and are all like 'you never help out! i'll do it myself!' and so you follow them and you're like 'wait! i'll do it!', like a true hero, and then they say 'i'm doing it now.' and then you have a fight about who's doing it, you're actually fighting your case to try and do something like the washing up. It's tragic 'Let me do the washing! I want to do it!' So you say to them, 'look, you asked me to do it, so here i am, and now you're not letting me'. And then, this is what annoys me the most, this is the actual pinnacle of stupidity, they say 'well if you're not going to do it graciously then i'd rather you didn't do it at all!' I mean, who is honestly going to accept the task of doing something like that graciously? It's like they expect you to bow down in thanks and kiss their ring in gratitude or something. It's ridiculous - 'Lucy do the washing up' 'IT WOULD BE MY GREATEST HONOUR!' The only people who would act like this are working prisoners who want to be released early or sexually depraved boyfriends who will do anything in their pathetic quest to 'get some'.

So, this happens quite a lot with my mum, and in my guilt I end up doing a whole host of other banal chores. Including the classic 'going to the shops to get some milk'. But it's never just milk is it? It's always really weird things that I've never even heard of, because my mum will take it upon herself to be 'exotic' and 'different' and start buying Spanish cookbooks, and look at a recipe and be like 'Hey, this looks fun! Spanish Asturian Soup'. It isn't fun. It is soup with beef in it. That is literally what it is. Disappointed does not cover it. I was expecting this spicy, peppery and tangy, salsa kind of dish, I took one mouthful and said 'Oh did you give up on the Spanish recipe and open the can of Mulligatawny in the cupboard instead?' So anyway I was in my local Co-op and was looking for all these ingredients. I mean, my first bad move is going in the Co-op because their idea of 'exotic' is cherry tomatoes. So I had to go through one of life's little challenges and ask a store worker for help with location. You can rule out teenage store assistants already because the only things they can locate for you is the chocolate aisle and where the WKD is. So, you go up to the most intelligent-looking store worker you can find and you ask them, and as soon as you ask them you can tell whether they know where this something is or not. In my case they never do, and you can see the fear and adrenaline in their eyes, like 'OH MY GOD I DON'T KNOW WHERE IT IS! I NEED BACK-UP!' they start looking around frantically, as if this object that they can't locate will suddenly appear to them. Then they start walking off, continuing their doomed search, and they tell you that are going to find their colleague, who they think will know where your ingredient is. They're like 'Tony will know, he will definitely know, he's been here longer than me. And I only work with dairy, you see' and you're walking along like 'You're wasting my time! I do not want to go and find Tony! I just want to find my white beans! That is all I ask! As a supermarket, you should provide me with this basic service!' but of course you don't say that because they are your only hope. If they can't find your white beans, or if Tony can't, then who can?!' And after this always arduous task you give up and you say 'you know what. kidney beans will do.' And you leave, broken and battered, knowing that your mum is going to be disappointed that she can't produce an 'authentic spanish dish'. IT'S BEEF SOUP WOMAN! CHRIST ALIVE! Honestly.



Then I would talk about walking past local people with all these ingredients, particularly other teenagers, who are sitting there drinking coke and eating bars of chocolate whilst you're flouncing past with 2 pints of milk and 500g of lean mince.



Please take the time to read and comment on this, I will appreciate it mi<3it! haha
<3 it
All I gotta say is "Good Luck!"
X3 I like it.
I think it is.. :)



I laughed a little, it could have been considered a "giggle"



I love that word!!!! giggle giggle.. creep yet fun!
if you exaimine some of the greatest commedians you should notice one thing they never tell a story. And if they do it's broken up into several segments with short jokes inside I think you could do better with shortened jokes.
a giant wall of text is NEVER... N-E-V-E-R funny



what you have to say might be great but literally 0 out of a million people will read it. you are missing your audience even if you do have something good to say.
Hmm...It is quite good not really hilarious.... quite funny. something that makes you smile. Of course I don't know really what your gestures are like...so it is hard to say if u should go on stage with this. I'm sorry.

Reminds me a little bit of Michael McIntyre. (Those dramatic lines. ) Now he is HILARIOUS. Omg. Look him up if u haven't heard of him. It is worth it.

But anyway good luck with your career. I sincerely believe u can do it if u really want it. And it was funny I admit. Just take your time performing it. U can make it funny! gl~